Hunter S. Thompson on living a meaningful life
Journalist and former Hells Angel, Hunter S. Thompson wrote this incredible letter to a friend on finding your purpose and living a meaningful life at the age of 22. What were we doing at 22!? I could only hope to achieve this level of self-awareness in another 22 years!
Key life lessons from the letter:
Lesson #1: Only you know what you need: No one can tell you how to live your life except yourself. Live according to your values, not your parents’, not your friends’, YOURS.
Lesson #2: Process over goals: Focus on finding a way of living rather than achieving arbitrary goals. Set up a system that challenges you every day and moves you towards whatever your goals are. It doesn’t matter what goal you pick, it’s the progress that matters.
Lesson #3: You always have a choice: You don’t have to accept your current circumstances. If all the options in front of you are unsatisfying, there’s always another option. You just haven’t found it yet.
In summary - Go out there and build the life you want. It’s fully within your power. No one else can do it for you. Stop focusing on the reasons you can’t do something, instead focus on all the reasons that you can.
Lesson #1: Only you know what you need
"For to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life – the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual"
There is an old parable about a monkey and a fish. A storm had left a fish stranded on a beach. Safe in a nearby tree, a monkey saw the fish flapping its tail and resolved to help the poor fish. The monkey climbed down to the beach and picked up the fish to bring him to “safety”, his tree. The fish died.
Moral of the story is that we all have different needs / values. What’s right for one person is not right for someone else.
How much of our lives are shaped by someone else’s values? Parents, friends, co-workers, etc. Cultivate your self-awareness to recognize whether your actions are aligned with what you really want / need vs. conforming to others’ expectations for you. Asking for advice and feedback is a great way to test your assumptions but at the end of the day, you need to be the final arbiter on the path you take.
Lesson #2: Process over goals
"We must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal... the goal is absolutely secondary: it is functioning towards the goal which is important"
We all tend to define success based on achievement. How many of us have said something like this?
I’ll be happy once I get this new job / promotion
I’ll be happy once I find someone and get married
I’ll be happy once I lose [xx] pounds
We’re always searching for that missing piece that will suddenly make us happy. But what actually happens? We achieve these goals (or don’t) but that “a ha” moment remains elusive. Our lives don’t magically change. Things eventually settle back to the status quo after some time.
As the writer and philosopher Robert Pirsig said:
“The only zen you find at the top of the mountain is the zen you bring up there with you."
Instead of arbitrary goals, focus on finding a way of living. If you want to get fit and lose weight, focus on eating better and exercising. If you want to get married, get out there and meet new people. If you want to spend more time with your family, carve out time without phones, work, distractions and do it.
Figure out the daily actions you need to take to achieve your desired outcome and start doing it. It’s not about what you have or achieve, it’s about being the type of person that does those things. Goals are just guideposts, directing us towards where to focus your time and energy, rather than the end all measure of success.
Lesson #3: You always have a choice
"Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH."
As we get older, our perception of the world and what we think we can achieve narrows. You have responsibilities, obligations, and a lifetime of experience indicating what you can or cannot do. It can feel like you have no choice but to push forward on your current path, no matter how unfulfilling.
But you always have a choice. You can choose how you think, act, respond to whatever is causing you stress. You can choose to start looking for another option. If nothing is obvious in the moment, it just means you haven’t found it yet, not that another path doesn’t exist. The first step is to start searching.