Being Consistent in an Inconsistent Life
What does your perfect morning look like? Mine goes something like this:
Get out of bed at 5:30 am after a full 7-8 hours of energizing, uninterrupted sleep.
Have a cup of coffee, meditate, and quick dip in the cold plunge
Workout, run, or write until Julian wakes up at 6:30 – 7 am
Transition seamlessly into dad mode to make breakfast, get him ready, walk the dogs, and drop him off at school
Leave for work at 8:30 am
Getting through this always makes me feel like a rockstar and energizes me to crush the rest of the day. But recently, this routine has been more of a pipe dream.
There always seemed be something going on to throw a wrench in that routine. This month it was traveling, Julian catching a virus and passing it to the rest of the family, unexpected vet visits for Mia, and Brady being Brady. A day where everything was “normal” was anything but normal.
But c’est la vie with life with two babies and two dogs (and life in general). It’s wholly unpredictable and inconsistent. But it’s important to find some consistency in that inconsistent life. One of my favorite quotes on this topic is from writer Sahil Bloom:
“10% of the days you feel great, 10% of the days you’ll feel terrible, it’s what you do during those 80% of the days that matter”
If you only show up on the 10% of the days where everything is great, then you’re not showing up enough to make a difference.
Here are some strategies I’ve learned to help me on those other 90% of the days:
Break it Down into the MVP
In business, there is a concept called the minimum viable product – the minimum viable version of your goal.
For my morning routines, it became waking up before 6 am and committing to carving out some early morning time for myself before jumping into the demands of the day. For my workouts, it’s a simple HIIT routine at the end of the day no matter how tired or drained I might feel.
Consistency isn’t about the intensity, it’s about showing up every day no matter what you feel. Whenever life gets too crazy, just break it down into its MVP.
Be Realistic
One of the biggest hindrances towards building consistency is setting the bar too high. You set unrealistic goals and end up discouraged because you never reach them or burn out because the effort required is too high.
Instead, think of the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen or continuous improvement. Focus on making small, sustainable changes from where you are today and following through with them. For example, asking for 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night is not a realistic goal for me right now. But what I could do was commit to not watching any TV before bed and making sure I was in bed by 10:30 pm every night. Do that for one day, then the next, and then the next.
It's better to under promise and overdeliver, including with yourself.
Prioritize
If you try to do everything, you end up doing nothing.
This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn this year. With another baby and a new job taking up much of my bandwidth, it was inevitable that other areas of my life needed to take a backseat. I had to prioritize and take a break from certain hobbies so that I could make time for others.
Instead trying to juggle running, golf, and Muay Thai all at once and making no appreciable progress in any of them, I decided to focus on one at a time and be as consistent as I can be for that one thing.
Stay Positive and Keep Going
Life gets in the way. Don’t beat yourself up if you get off track. You don't gain anything from berating yourself for a missed workout, oversleeping, or whatever habit you are trying to build. Learn to move on and get back to it the next opportunity you get.
Roger Federer gave the 2024 Dartmouth commencement address and had a great story about the power of positive thinking. Excerpt below:
"In tennis, perfection is impossible... In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches... Now, I have a question for all of you... what percentage of the POINTS do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%. In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play. When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think: OK, I double-faulted. It’s only a point. OK, I came to the net and I got passed again. It’s only a point. Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN’s Top Ten Plays: that, too, is just a point. Here’s why I am telling you this. When you’re playing a point, it is the most important thing in the world. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you... This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point… and the next one after that… with intensity, clarity and focus. The truth is, whatever game you play in life... sometimes you’re going to lose. A point, a match, a season, a job... it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs. And it’s natural, when you’re down, to doubt yourself. To feel sorry for yourself. And by the way, your opponents have self-doubt, too. Don’t ever forget that. But negative energy is wasted energy. You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That to me is the sign of a champion. The best in the world are not the best because they win every point... It’s because they know they’ll lose... again and again… and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it. Cry it out if you need to... then force a smile. You move on. Be relentless. Adapt and grow."
One of the greatest players ever barely won over half of the points he played. But he became a champion because he didn’t dwell on those misses. He moved on, stayed positive, and won the ones that mattered.
Life is just a game. You just have to stay in it.